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Senior Moment© Copyright© 2005 All Rights Reserved
A Publication of http://www.senior2senior.org
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Vol 2 #16 Sep 15, 2006
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Content:
1. Publisher’s Comments
2. Article
Publisher’s Comments
Today's article has been around the Internet several times but I couldn't resist making it a part of today's NL. Enjoy...
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It is that time of the year for buzzing green flies. You know the kind, they buzz constantly while flying. Drives me crazy.
Since we have 5 cats, the 2 cat doors stay open constantly and serve as fly magnets. God, I wish I had a solution. But the cats enjoy a higher status than yours truly, so closing them is out of the solution chain.
If you have any ideas, shoot them my way.
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This web site will give you the value of your home:
http://www.zillow.com
It is only good for U.S. residents but I can't see why a sharp mind couldn't duplicate the concept outside the U.S.
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Did you ever wonder what other products are made from a barrel of oil? If so, wonder no more.
A 42 U.S. gallon barrel of crude oil yields slightly more than 44 gallons of petroleum products. This "process gain" in volume is due to a reduction in density during the refining process.
Liquefied petroleum gas (LPG), heavy fuel oil, jet fuel, diesel fuel and heating oil along with other products (not specified) are refined besides gasoline. Are they making money or what?
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This emergency readiness pamphlet is good anywhere in the world one experiences natural disasters:
http://www.aoa.gov/PROF/aoaprog/caregiver/overview/Just_in_Case030706_links.pdf
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Here is a neat tip on determining the responsiveness of the company behind that nifty product you think you really have to have now.
Check out the company's customer and support services. Call the advertised toll-free number to get an idea of how easy it is to reach a company representative and how helpful he or she is.
The ease of contact should tell you a great deal about that great deal.
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I've mentioned this U.S. government website before but they have some great universal information so here it is again:
http://www.nih.gov/nia
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2. Article
Congress Passes Americans With No Abilities Act
WASHINGTON, DC—On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.
The act, signed into law by President Bush shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any real skills or uses.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans—through no fault of their own--do not possess the talent necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Bush, a longtime ANA supporter who has agreed to be the AWNAA poster child when his term expires..
"Their lives are futile hamster-wheel existences of unrewarding, dead-end busywork: copying documents written by others, fulfilling mail-in rebates for Black & Decker toaster ovens, and processing bureaucratic forms that nobody will ever see. Sadly, for these millions of nonabled Americans, the American dream of working hard and moving up through the ranks is simply not a reality."
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million important-sounding "middle man" positions will be created in the white-collar sector for nonabled persons, providing them with an illusory sense of purpose and ability. Mandatory, non-performance-based raises and promotions will also be offered to create a sense of upward mobility for even the most unremarkable, utterly replaceable employees.
The legislation also provides corporations with incentives to hire nonabled workers, including tax breaks for those who hire one non-germane worker for every two talented hirees.
Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act also contains tough new measures to prevent discrimination against the nonabled by banning prospective employers from asking such job-interview questions as, "What can you bring to this organization?" and
"Do you have any special skills that would make you an asset to this company?"
"As a nonabled person, I frequently find myself unable to keep up with co-workers who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as an unessential filing clerk at a Minneapolis tile wholesaler last month because of her lack of notable skills. "This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of the Americans With No Abilities Act, Gertz and millions of other untalented, inessential citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Bush: "It is our duty, both as lawmakers and as human beings, to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her lack of value to society, some sort of space to take up in this great nation."
Closing note: Should you have the urge to put your country's name in the place of America, feel free. This is a universal spoof anyway.
Until next issue,
Tom Koziol
Write to:
Senior Outreach Ministries
P.O. Box 1234
Reno, NV 89504
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